Finance & Romance on Forbes.com

Pat & Mark

My husband Mark is a financial guy and he was recently interviewed for and article titled Finance & Romance: A Perfect Marriage? for Forbes.com.

And here’s what he had to say:

“Delegating money tasks is another way to build trust and improve communication. While it is common for money to be a source of suspicion and resentment in relationships, it can also be a tool cementing the bonds of your relationship, says Mark Zaifman, a financial planner in Petaluma, Calif., who credits his wife’s healthy money attitude to their successful 20-year marriage.

Often, Zaifman says, couples start out strong by delegating money management chores and promising to meet monthly to discuss budget and investments. Over time, however, most couples abandon the practice, and may later find themselves buried in debt and with few retirement reserves. Resentment and blame inevitably ensue.

To prevent this from happening Zaifman suggests eliminating assumptions about how the personal finance duties should be divvied up. “Sometimes the husband had been taking care of the investing for years until the wife has finally spoken up and said, ‘I can do better!’” he says. “The husband doesn’t realize that his wife was interested in investing or that she would be good at it.”

Ultimately the goal is for each spouse to oversee a job, but both partners must agree on goals about saving, spending and returns on investments. If these numbers are not met, the couple needs to discuss why at regular money meetings. “You need someone looking over your shoulder,” Zaifman says. “Money is emotionally charged and can bring a lot of anger. But it can be great at opening up a dialogue and improving communication.”

That was me he was referring to, his wife with the “healthy money attitude”.  Boy did that make me feel good.  I never identified myself that way and even though the compliment was from my husband, I still appreciate it.

Trent from Simple Dollar recently posted on his blog “When Partners Don’t Cooperate With Setting Goals”, it’s interesting to read his take on goal setting and the importance of couples being on the same page.  Those who commented on the post added different perspectives. (I found myself reading some comments and saying to myself,  ” don’t marry that woman!”)

In the Year Ahead/Year in Review process that Mark and I do every year, one of things we talk about, budget for and set goals on is saving and spending. Since he is the expert on investments, we review options he has researched and then as he states in the article, we agree on  what we will invest in.

So is that the secret to our ‘perfect marriage’?  Well, that and not having to share a bathroom add equally to our blissful life together.

What’s one of your secrets to success in your relationship?